My Mistress, Calliope

I must have a muse.  Because i come here and i vent about... whatever.  I think i found something new and i don't know what to do with it.  i come here and wonder over the new thing that i don't understand but get nowhere.

and then, in the morning, it's all there.

I looked up the muses and picked one.  Now, this is the greeks we're talking about, they don't have scifi/fiction muses, so i went with epic poetry.  i feel that's the most fitting of what i do.

Calliope it is.  to Calliope i say my prayers.

Crazy Person

My other day's rambly post has forced me to continue to think.  today the baby stood by the door all afternoon, saying "bye!" so i decided it was a good idea to go out for a walk.  my mp3 player died so i did most of it in silence, which also enabled me to focus more on story stuff rather than music stuff.

And i'm a crazy person, because i figured it out.  only i didn't.  only i just made more work for myself.  and i'm not even sure that it's actually an improvement.  it could very well be simply an idea that creates even more chaos.

but even still i printed something out that i've always sort of used as a reference material but never intended to be  part of the story itself.  i'm gonna take it to work with me and see what's in it; if it's anything worth anything...

crazy person.

Distressed and Rambling

It's not even the lack of time that i use as my excuse.  It's my doubtfullness.

I worry that, in the end, the conflict of the second story, The Prophet, is weak.  And without that story, there is nothing else.  The first one's only there to set it up.  The third one is only there to set up the fifth but cannot exist without the second...

I guess it's what i've been tryign to work on, since i am rewriting it all over again.  The other four grew out of what it was supposed to be, not what it was.  i fear my foundation is shaky...that there are plot holes i can't seem to fill.

Maybe, though, i can blame the time.  because when do i really have any time to sit down and thnk about it?

i have beautifully terrifying outlines and post-it notes everwhere.  i need a sabbatical.  but captioning assistants don't get those.

and i know that's why i've been so focused on Eillim and Enna lately in their little stories.  because they entwine with but are not dependant upon the main, treacherous bodies.  Chapter Eleven of the The Pilot revolve around them but with a little editing i could pull it right out and the twins could exist free entirely of the insanity of the Ankaverse.

...and now that i've said that, i wonder... could i pull it out in such a way as to still leave it in (god, i hate myself) the same span of time, from their point of view...

i just don't like the gap of information between Shade and Shadow and Letters, some of which exists in Chapter Eleven.  i'd like to put them Smashwords.  still waiting to hear back from glimmer train on whether or not i continue with the process for Third Bed...

in other news, i watched The Avengers again tonight.  i still think that it is better than the sum of it's parts.  i loved it more than i loved Ironman and I. Love. Ironman.  i have a very meh feeling about all the rest of them (you know, except for that hot thing.  i am still a girl)... i always expect Captian America to yell "Flame on!"  one guy really shouldn't be two superheroes...

but when they all come together and they each have their own seperate personality and joss whedon is fabulous... yeah.  i love the avengers.

The Things I Love While Visiting With the In-laws

wedding party and first birthday party this weekend back in the husband's hometown.  all his brothers and sister were there, and that makes a lot of us.

Some of my favorite things about going back to that overpopulated, psychotic, loud family:

The door to the laundry room, and subsequently the downstairs bathroom, should be a pocket door.  They’ve said so many times.  It’s a squeeze to get between the door and the dryer and it is strictly a one way street.

There’s always someone moving about, even in the dark of night.  Dad’s getting ready for work at three.  Someone fell asleep on the couch and is up at six to trade places with the early riser with the toddler.  We’ve all heard the infant going about his business throughout the night. In the same respect during the day there’s always someone napping (the moms) or still sleeping (the brothers).

The Christmas houses are always on the tops of the cupboard, no matter the time of the year, and they have their own switch of the roughly three dozen in the kitchen alone.

Ugly afghans everywhere.  I made one of them, not even the coolest one.

Update 10/18:

Holidays.  The chocolate pie.  thanksgiving and christmas.  there is always a battle in the kitchen on HOW to make it.  often, it doesn't turn out.  Every year.  twice a year.  for seven years now and probably before i showed up, i'm sure.

Vacation's Over

I never did finish my week of babyless posts.  that's okay.  nothing special happened, really.  i cleaned the house and got the Guide all put together the way it's supposed to.  now to finish it.

Today i finished Sense and Sensibility and i had nothing to read afterwards (or i didn't wanna go back to Uncle Tom's Cabin) so i pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote down one of those things that's been rattling around in my head lately.  it relates to the Pilot.  and it sort of opens up a new avenue for me to go down to make that a better story.  it needs to be better.

it's just a short conversation between Nesris and her owner/brother/prince Nasinair.  I only  mentioned it once and only in retrospect the fact that even though Nesris was a slave Nasinair treated  her well, almost as a confidant.  i think going back and revealing more of her life as how it used to be will add to the story...  give Nesris and Dartia a little bit more time in the beginning...  And i also have a new idea about why and how she escapes.  the first one was clunky.  this one is better.

So i'm gonna dig out that binder and take it to work tomorrow.

now i have to go do my at home job.  a file from hell. i just want to finish it but i don't want to work on it.