Because sometimes writing about other things helps too.
Today I finished The Lovely Bones and the thing on the cover was right. don't read it unless you are going to read it all. I haven't written anything to be proud of in days because i've just wanted to read instead. And now i don't want to see the movie. not for a while at least. at least until the little book shaped hole in my heart is all healed up. words, they kill me.
I'm so sick of my music. i went searching through the crazy collections of my CD holders in my car and came up with one i have named Uber Mix, Mixy Mixiness.
I remember this CD. and it is always nearby. Anyone who has ever ridden with me and allowed me to control the music, any one who has been given a mix CD i made knows how they are. a little chaotic, but with a flow that can make an entire drive disappear. This may very well be the first one.
I know i made it for my 9 hour trip to Bemidji MN to see the boy who gave me a name which means She Who Misbehaves in the language he was studying. But i don't remember him about the CD, because it was later that year that i played this CD out delivering pizzas. that summer that i met the husband.
And i don't listen to it often anymore. and between listens i lose track completely of what's on it until i put it in. because no matter if i can't remember what's on it, the name, Uber Mix, Mixy Mixiness, tells me that it is a good cd. and I listen... and skip... and smile, and listen and smile and skip and listen:
Michelle Branch - Breathe
Jason Mraz - Sleep All Day
Rainer Maria - The Imparatives
Sugarcult - Bouncing Off the Walls Again
Saves The Day - Through With Being Cool
The Get Up Kids - Mass Pike
Further Seems Forever - Just Until Sundown
Shawn Mullins - This Time/Last Time
Something Corporate - Punk Rock Princess
Something Corporate - Ruthless
Gavin Degraw - I Don't Wanna Be
Shawn Mullins - Baby Blue
Kyle Fischer - If Your Way Should Need Finding Back
Counting Crows - Long December
Foo Fighters - Times Like These (acoustic)
Finch - What It Is To Burn (acoustic)
Julianna Theory - If I Told You This Was Killing Me
Incubus - Megalomaniac
Rufio - Dipshit
Rainer Maria - Ears Ring
Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated
And I'm amazed at what this list of songs tells me about me from what? eight years ago? seriously?
There are the standard favorites, the shawn mullins (this time/last time is broken... it plays the first several seconds then goes back and plays it again... for like four minutes. it's the reason why i always skip that song no matter what cd i'm listening to) and there's Something Corporate... Ruthless being a song i was just readdicted to only last week.
There's the stuff that comes from other people, or things on the radio at the time i made them that i liked. megalomaniac, gavin degraw, and vindicated. there's me hanging on to the old stuff from hartford (and were honestly the most frequently skipped tracks), saves the day, the get up kids, sugarcult, and there's the bands that i found by threading out from them, rufio, rainer maria, finch.
I never realized that Just Until Sundown was a waltz... or maybe i did realize but have forgotten. but that's probably why i still love it so deep down in my soul. i love me a rock song written to a waltz beat.