So there is a second plan but I am blocked there too, there is so much at stake.
I am going to write these things. I am going to design this great story, even if only to myself. I have to get it out. It is not eating me, it is eating itself. There is so much I don't know what to do first or next or last.
A new goal. A chapter a week. Can I do that? And not in among the stuff that is already there to confuse me. A fresh page. A blank sheet for this new and final vision.
I have laid it out. The wood paneling adds something, don't you think?
It's not much yet, but that's okay. Because that binder is so full and everything has changed. I have to find the truth thread again. Forget about the future. We will get there.