Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Catastrophic Failure

That's what i'm calling it because that's what it was.   the loss of everything.  every. thing.

but what i actually lost?  3 hours of audio.  Some music that can be redownloaded.  four paragraphs of revisions, maybe a handful of pictures.

i am very fucking lucky i had decided to back up all of my writing, and dump all of my necessary files onto usb drives in the very recent past.  My dad has fixed it, given me a new hard drive.  I must begin the process of rebuilding my comfy computer space.  my shortcuts and my bookmarks...

In other, more depressing news, i suddenly realize that i don't know Edonith.  Anka's true love and greatest annoyance.  He saves her and he lets her go over and over again.  He is tall and pale and good with plants.  And he is quiet and friendly and welcoming.

These are the things i know about him, but he is so flat, so cardboard.  I realized it as i sat down and tried to force myself to write his Children story.  Because they are all moving forward but for his and Daniel's.  I can't figure out how to write it.  I can't figure out what to write that will show us what makes up Edonith, because Edonith is made up of nothing.

blah.

how do i even fucking fix that?

and what could he possibly be thinking about me for saying that??

...

you know what?  probably nothing.  because i never gave him a brain with which to think.

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