Guh

Mr. Red headed english teacher sent me a text yesterday and asked me how my novel was. my answer was Guh, and i'm saying it today again GUH!!


ive been here at the coffee shop for like an hour and i just feel like i've been feeling. like i want to throw it all out and start over again. of course that's the most terrifying thought EVER EVER!!! i don't want to start over, because it is editing that is the worst part and i'll still have to edit if i write it all over again.

i just tore chapter eight up. not literally. i went through and deleted the SHIT and wrote comments to myself in the computer copy. i dont know why i did it that way, since i normally do all my rewrites by hand. i should have done it on my paper copy. guh.

and another farkin' GUH!! i had my whole post written but the internet at the coffee shop was acting up and wouldnt let me post but i didn't realize it wasn't saving either!!!

what was in the rest of the post?? oh! Dax. My auntie's newest character Janet inspired much of his backstory which i now know. Dax's mother's sister adopted him as a 2 year old while his real mommy went out to do her own style of crazy. When Dax is 4 Gina, who dax calls Chichi, got married and the longtime boyfriend who'd known Dax since he was a newborn and he too legally adopts Dax. His name is then changed to McKing - which explains why i didnt like the name at first, its not his real one. i wonder if the real one will come up. i wonder if it will be important...

when Chichi and her husband (Chad? Thad? Brad? - something close to dad...) have their daughter Dax is 5. the story itself takes place when they are 9 and 4. Dax knows his mom is his mom but doesn't give very much thought to how his relationships with his family are different than the other kids he knows.

i think his sister gets kidnapped. maybe falls down a well. (i'm thinking mother hulda from Grimm's). i'm trying to stay clear of any story line beyond that cuz that would be getting into cheating on november, i feel. i think as long as i have ideas enough to build a story out of a first chapter then i'm not going to far in the prep phase.

also i decided this story will be 50 thousand words. not i continue the 70 to 80 thousand word story after i finish the contest. i have been working a lot with short stories lately so hopefully i'll be better able to restrain myself.

alright. that's all. i missed my auntie mommy but i'll see her next weekend and i'll have a couple cupcakes and cookies for her and her girls. i just spent a crazy amount on fixins for halloween num nums. oh well. it'll be totally worth it.

i have to pee now.

Screw Waiting.

I was going to wait until tuesday to write this blog post cuz i could do it before i get onto doing my edity stuff when i'm at the coffee shop.

but i'm impatient and excited and i have a whole day of work and a hang out session with Auntie before tuesday. Nothing on tv except Back to the Future 3 and the boyfriend will be up in 45 minutes to steal the tv anyhow. football sunday. hooray.

I haven't written in a long time but it's not my fault. well, it is my fault but what with the getting ready to go to vegas, the going to vegas, and the getting over being in vegas, i lost 3 weeks somehow. but i feel i've been compensating, continuing to work. Scribophile for editing other peoples and definitely working on the Third bed (which is turning into a huge can of worms... at least the beginning is).

I also wrote that 600 word contest story that i mentioned. you can find that here: http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewshortstory.asp?id=49720 Thank you to the Auntie who helped me tweek it.

Now, down to the exciting news!!

yesterday i was watching a movie - a screening for the birthday gift for one of my brothers. This movie was Ink. From the very beginning i was very into it. it's weird, both storywise and visually. A little bit slow paced but entrancing none the less. It was my favorite type of story. Where someone from this world is thrown into a different version of the world, where everything is familiar, but off kilter.

Stories like Alice and Wizard of Oz and Mirror Mask. A bit if Dr. Parnassus, and some Pan's Labrynth and even a little Peter Pan. So i was watching this movie that i will likely watch a thousand more times and i realized 'Why don't I write one of these stories, since i like them so much!?'

and my Nanowrimo 2010 Door was born. The decision to write this sort of story excites me not just cuz i get to write it but i will also be doing some 'research' - hunting down more stories just like those and watching the movies, reading the books. tough research.

I didn't come up with much yet though i knitted at work and thought all day about it. But i did find a name. I gave it to my Troubled/Troublesome boy in an offhand way because it had been floating around my brain since being tried on and put aside by the dude from the 3rd bed. It seemed to fit for the moment and i knew i could change it later if i had to.

and then i decided to just ask him what his name was. He shouted it at me, like i was his bad guy: "Maddox Arthur McKing"

And i loved the name, and i loved him and beyond what i've just told you, i know nothing about the story. I started a 2 page outline in my list book to put ideas on. I love it. so much i took a picture of it. the picture i accidentally named 'ggook' instead of 'book' cuz i typed one handed while i was rubbing my eye.

i can't wait to fill it up

6 days!!

maybe i should quit writing for a while...

i come to the coffee shop and can barely edit a page, though i think i should actually take the draft to work again and reedit it because i haven't enacted anything that i've written down. i'm basically just rewriting. its getting better, yes, but its tedious as well.

saw this quote on scribophile:

I'm not a very good writer, but I'm an excellent rewriter. ~James Michener

made me smile. i totally get it.

but even at work i have a hard time writing. It took me days to write the last apocolypse story and it's only like 8 pages long. the new one, about the windmills coming out of the fog - well, i drew a map of what the windmill farm looks like.

maybe i'm worn out. maybe i need a break. vegas trip will be a break, except my grandma told me about this writing contest for a short story. 600 words. not too big. it's due the day after i get back so i could totally do it while i'm there. how cool would that be to write a story with a bein'-in-vegas-flair??

again i wish there was a button on my belly that i could push and it would all just spill out of the printer (i wish i had) in my head. easy peasy...

i think my slump stems from The Third Bed. I wrote it and i liked it so much. its like when i read the Robin Hobb series, or Marjorie Morningstar and i didn't want to read anything ever again. i'll get over it. i always do.

happy Labor Day!!

it has been some time since i posted. why? cuz i havent been writing much. or maybe i have and just not felt like blogging about it.

i have been working on adding events to the apocolypse stories. i have 5 now, though only 2 are finished.

i finished up The Third Bed and stalked Authors Den watching the stats for 3 weeks as it rose and fell to and from the popular romance stories. I am still depressed that i wrote it because i want to write it again.

i really want to write more about Him, of the story, because i know so much about him that isn't even hinted at in the that little glimpse of his life. but i dont think there is any reason to do it so i am leaving it alone.

i joined Scribophile.com and just finished my first critique. once i earn enough karma i can post my own stuff to be critqued. wahoo.

i have to go for a walk now. and then to the laundromat and finally home to finish those damned Running Blind dammit dolls that i was already paid for and i want to just finish already... especially before i go the Vegas. i don't want them waiting around my house for me to get home. i need to be rid of that project so i dont feel so bad about not working on them and doing something else instead.

so it turns out...

i was right to write the don't think about it story. i finished it at work yesterday and it definitely could be longer, but it is actually quite nice as it is.

the funny thing is, i never was able to come up with names for either my main characters. i complain constantly about not being able to name completed stories, but coming up with character names is actually rather easy. i chose a first letter from the alphabet that i haven't used in a while and then start putting random other letters after it, coming up with quick fantasy names.

but there was nothing for these two. so i wrote the entire thing without a name for either of them, expecting to figure one out when i'd finished. but i got to the end with only one confusing bit where it was hard to determine which 'he' i was talking about, but i got that sorted during the retype. so we're going to leave them nameless, because i do love them that way.

and the funniest thing is, i knew the name of it from about halfway through. i'm calling it The Third Bed.

this story is an anomaly. no character names and a title to boot. taking it to work today to edit. perhaps. we'll see how the day turns out.