Tres November

I don't know what possessed me to start this so spur of the moment.  I am also in the middle of a queen sized afghan for our bed (I never fathomed how much work a queen size blanket is before) and plus I've had a frenzy of what I've been calling Spring Cleaning.  Boxes that have sat untouched since we moved in May are suddenly empty.  Closets and cabinets full of "I don't know where to put this yet, so we'll just put it right here," are now clean and organized.  I'm putting the basement rec room in some sort of liveable order, prepping for the long winter and knowing we will cope better if we have a larger space to roam.

And then I throw Nano in on top of that.

I might as well catch up quick with a photo of the day collection.  Cuz I mean, what's one more thing!?

oh.  one more thing... it'd be the perfect month to get pregnant again.  somehow I have to work that into my day.

I need to sit down and create a plan.  I think I need to read through all of the apocalypse stories.  I realize that Spencer's story is nothing, whereas Ecila and... well, let's just call it Aniste's story are a bit heavier and have more to say.  I have to figure out what i'm doing, whether i'm simply sticking Spencer into Aniste's world... and how will I do that.  I have begun with a first person narrative.  I don't think I want to do the two women in that way.  So how do I blend it all together?

Maybe I should've been thinking about this in the months leading up to it.

Or maybe I should've realized that my not thinking about it meant that I ACTUALLY SHOULD NOT DO IT.

Tres November.

It's too soon to give up.

It will be too soon to give up until November 30th.

November Two

I once admitted my love for Fall Out Boy AA Style.  My name is sara, and I love Fall Out Boy.  I know I have a problem, and accepting that is the first step toward recovery... right?

nope.  I love FOB.  I always will.  Shall we say I was born this way?

I just purchased their entire newest album in MP3s and I listen to them while i'm proofing my work.  Full blast in my ears until I can't really hear the transcription once I turn off the music and go back.

This song, Alone Together...  I today first really listened to the lyrics, after the title caught my attention.  Only last night late I wrote the "alone together" phrase into my story in a piece about Spencer and Kath and the third of the quiet boys in the group.


I don't know where you're going
But do you got room for one more troubled soul?
I don't know where I'm going
But I don't think I'm coming home and I'll say
"I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead"
This is the road to ruin
And we started at the end


This lyric entirely embodies my story.  For serious.  Every single line down to the road to ruin, even down to the part that we started at the end.  I started my Nano story at the end, and the he/I of Spencer even notes that he wants to start at the end because that is the newest.

I love Fall Out Boy.  This new really funky album will be the soundtrack of Spencer's Story.

It's November.

It's fucking November.  I knew quite well that November was coming.  And I knew also, because my email has been blown up by them, what November means.  I hadn't made a decision one way or the other, but it seemed like a No.  I wasn't thinking about a story, I was thinking "Hey, you need to finish the Verse before you go off and start something new."

yep. that's what I was thinking.  but now I want to jump right into Spencer's story.  what comes after the Verse.  What connects to the Apocalypse stories (WHICH AREN'T EVEN DONE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! STOP THIS AT ONCE!)... did you hear something...?

So I signed up for Nano.  I didn't even sign up last year.  But an update to the site now means you can save your stories' synopses and excerpts for all the years you participated!!  I want to go back in there and fill them in.  I don't have my original synopses, but it'll be fun to rewrite them.

Of course I had to goof off yesterday on Halloween instead of working.  on this file which turns out is easier than pie.  but I still got two hours on top of the half hour left that were assigned for today.  hopefully I can get some writing done, and also the amount of work I need to make The Husband not stab me with his knives of "you're not making enough money" fury...

Working From Home

I've been working writing into my working from home.  The daughter gets up at 7:45 so sometimes i stop working in the morning long enough to type something up that's been written down.

Just now, i figured something out that was causing a block in the verse.  i feel like i'm always saying that.  It has to do with the running away factor.  I could always ask myself too many questions about this.  why didn't he do this?  why didn't she do that?

and it all happened while i was typing up chapter three and rather than make Anka friendly, i made her suspicious.  it all fell into place.

i worked it out in my head while i was doing the dishes.  i wonder if i'll remember it later.  there are some notes, but not as beautiful as it was in my head.

Dreaming...

I joined writing.com.

I wanted something else, besides author's den.  Because I did not want to take my old teenage/early 20s writing down, but I want to post the Verse without it being attached to it directly to the older stories and whatnot.

A fresh start.

Though, it's sort of backwards.  Author's den seems the more professional site, while writing.com is more social network-y.  it seems the younger self should use this.  but then again.

Dreaming. 

I'm dreaming often and in detail of the boy I loved in high school. the past few have even referenced the fact, me telling him that I've been dreaming about him at some point in our odd-normal dreamtime adventure.

Is it strange to think that I love him still.  I mean I don't know him. I haven't seen him since graduation day.  But my heart feels just as strongly connected to him, despite all these years as it feels to the only boy from my HS that I actually... dated? I don't know.  I love him, whatever it was we did... and whatever it was that part of it hardly matters.  Because we were friends and can still have a nothing but friendly relationship.  I try to be just quiet enough, though, so his adorable girlfriend does not get it into her head to cut me.

Because I feel with these two boys, whether there was a romantic connection to them or not, I love them.  They made an impact on me and my heart cannot forget them.  The boy I loved, he cannot be so different from what he was... we don't change that much.  So I do not doubt that my love of him in the past can translate through to still loving him to this day, whether I've shared two words with him in 11 years or not.

and the funny thing is...

I really don't have much of the same to say about the two guys who were actually my boyfriends...

I love that my husband was my friend first.